The Struggle Within

I am every once in a while lost in the dilemma of feeling guilty for my own failure, of course it is my failure and I should be guilty about it. Where I am is where I have dreamed I should not be. How did I get here though? it is by my own making that I am here. The very fact that I know this is so true makes me sad most of the times when I reflect and compare with what others have done. I sometimes look at a few of my childhood friends and begin to ask myself how they have achieved what they have. I think to myself, was I not ahead of this skinny kid? Yes I was, but how did he get here? What did they do capture there secret, but not capture it but also be able to get through and be what they are now? What did I miss? where did I go wrong? What am I still doing wrong? these are questions that I need to answer perhaps in a quiet place but are afraid to so. For the very fact that they are so many things that have been my center attractions, the fear of realizing that indeed they are they are behind my inability to make timely and right decisions.